I am writing you this letter because I know—both as a mom of five kids, and as a human being—that we could all use a little more tenderhearted mothering.
You, Sweetheart, you are beautiful—I can tell from here! You are loving, you are kind, you are only seeking the best for yourself and others in the world. I know these things are true about you. Who could ask more than that?!
God designed you in God’s very image—yes! Exactly as you are. God stamped you with God’s own essence… God built you with God’s own DNA. That’s awesome isn’t it? What more do you need to know after that?
Beloved, I suspect you have fought your way toward wholeness for a long time. And felt very much alone. You have tried to be whole and also make the people important to you happy (we do that for survival, you know), but that may not have happened. Sometimes parents aren’t happy with their children as they are, but it is because of their own head noise. Parents are deeply conditioned to mold their child into the image of what they think the child should be—this “perfect” image of what society and the church has told them to do. So they keep shoving their children into a precut box, but you don’t fit in a box! It’s too small and its sides are too stiff. You are bigger than that. You are more glorious than that.
The problem is not with you! The problem is with that box. The problem is trying to be shoved into a box you don’t fit into.
Here’s a little helpful tip for life: take only the encouraging words people say to you and eject the discouraging words. Why? Because we are called to encourage each other—not discourage! Because the encouraging words are true. Because the encouraging words serve you well. Because the encouraging words feel good and they will bring out the best possible you!
And you are more than welcome to think back on all the good things you’ve ever heard about you (even back in fifth-grade when kids said they like your hair!) and list them out. Add the good things you know about yourself (I’m good with dogs, I make a mean scrambled egg, whatever it is!). And then put that list somewhere you can read it often.
From a Mother’s heart, I invite you to be you—I hereby give you permission! You get to move into who you are with no regrets. You get to enjoy life as the person you know yourself to be because who you are is fabulous! Who you are is amazing! And you get to embrace the you you keep changing into, because isn’t that cool that we get to keep growing more into our best us?!
Who you are is whole and holy, Beloved! Always has been and always will be.
When you wonder if that’s true (we all wonder sometimes), please do this: go look in the mirror, smile at that sweet self, even give that wonderful you a kiss! (It’s okay—I do it too, and it will make that you feel good!) Grab that list you made of what’s good about you, and say them to yourself—daily! As you smile at that sweet self, remind you that YOU ARE—wonderful, amazing, kind, loving… You belong, you are worthy, you are perfectly designed: I can see God’s image all over you!
You have so, so much beauty in you! The more you can just be who you are, the more visible that beauty will become.
I love you with unbounded love from a Mom’s heart, Susan
P.S. If you’d like to, come say hello at FreedHearts.org